Self and Purpose

Each of us defines our self in our own unique way. If someone were to ask "who are you?", what would my answer be? I probably would list important facts: my name, where I work, tell about my family, where I live, and what I do. I could define myself along any of these lines. But would I get to the heart of the matter and talk about what really makes me tick? I doubt I would in a casual conversation, but maybe with someone I have an intimate relationship with.

I struggled with a title for this blog, and I still do. I want to describe what it's about, without being too pointed or long. I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian. I am a layman. And I write what is in my heart: thoughts about the contemplative life. I have somewhat an aversion to labels though. Can I really call myself a "contemplative"? Can anyone? By nature, contemplation is a gift, it cannot be created. It is like the wind that comes and goes as it pleases. The fact that at any one point in my life I experienced it, does not mean it will return.

Merton describes contemplation as "an immediate and in some sense passive intuition of the inmost reality, of our spiritual self and of God present within us." Yet he also says "a life of active contemplation prepares a man for occasional and unpredicted visits of infused or passive contemplation."

Much of how we define ourselves would be by our work. "I am a doctor." "I am a lawyer." "I work for the government." But what is our real work? As Christians, our calling and work is to bring the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is our working to alleviate suffering by bringing peace, love, joy and beauty to a suffering world. My real work in life then, and possibly how I define myself, is by finding my purpose and place in bringing this kingdom of God to the world.

Some are called to be pastors, some missionaries, others teachers; some are called to encourage, to give, to lead. Many are called to serve. Many are called to be laypeople and to raise godly families that reflect the love of Christ.

While all are called to pray, I wonder if some are called to be pray-ers. Not "just" pray, or "only" pray, that would be an oxymoron. But to pray as their work; to intercede and support those who are busy with action; to wait for that contemplative moment so that they can vector that grace, peace and spirit to bringing the kingdom of God to the world.